balancing/reintegrating my 6yo advanced reader... possible?

[Unregistered]

I'm concerned about my 6yo daughter and am hoping for some advice on how to shore up any imbalances that may have been caused by early academics....

She's never been pushed or forced to do academics, but she's reading very well.... started just after turning 5. She's reading chapter books now and LOVES to read... especially mystery books like Jigsaw Jones. She's doing math....single and some double digits in her head. She likes to do workbooks and has finished a first grade workbook and now has a second grade workbook, some of which is easy for her.

I can see some imbalances though... she's very emotional, not very coordinated and I can definitely see where she gets upset if she's not able to do something 'right' or perfect. This passage in the First Grade Readiness #2 re: David Elkinds work especially spoke to me and I can totally see this in her...

"I think we don't appreciate it fully, but when we ask a child to, say, perform in reading or math and he's not prepared to do that, he blames himself. He thinks, here's an adult, adults know everything, they understand everything, if they're telling me to do this, then I should be able to do it, and if I'm not able to do it, there's something wrong with me. So they blame themselves, and if we expose them to inappropriate learning experiences at that age, then they blame themselves for not learning, and that inhibits the whole learning process and their self-esteem and so on. "

This just makes ME want to cry to think that she's feeling this b/c I didn't understand child development.

I'm also concerned about her not developing her imagination as much as she could have.

Up until this point I haven't really had any rhythm going and it seems like Waldorf can really help us with that in a balanced and holistic way.

She also has an almost 3yo brother (in July). He's learning his letters but not really from me... and he loves to point the out on everything. I think he learned them from SuperWhy, the TV show (they both watch too much TV... I need to restrict that much more....I think by just crowding it out with other things to do would be most effective).

I'm hoping I'm not 'too late' to help her integrate everything so that she can move forward in a more holistic way.

Any advice for me?

I'm thinking of really bringing in the fairy tales, as well as more nature walks/experiences and crafts/handwork. We don't do them nearly enough.... actually not often at all. And then starting first grade Christopherus in the fall.

I wish I had found all of this sooner. I'd like to do what I can to help her.

Thanks in advance,
Tracy

[Donna]

First of all, Tracy - a big cyber hug to you! Please don't beat yourself up about all of this - how were you supposed to know?! Most of our society applauds little ones watching TV and learning academic skills at a very early age - so where were you supposed to get this very different perspective?

So.... now you have. Congratulate yourself for finding a new way to parent and educate and gently let go of any guilt you have from the past. Acknowledge that you want to take a new path. Summon your courage and fortitude and take those first steps! How to go forward?

Well, I think you have identified many of the key areas - I would suggest you get rid of the TV as a first move - for most children, cold turkey is a lot easier than restricting. Have more time in nature - not nature programs or man made nature "experiences" - real nature - just playing, walking, sitting and exploring with the senses. Don't take guide books, don't have an agenda, don't think about sketching or collecting - just help your children reawaken their in-born sense of wonder and awe - the keystones of every child's birth right as a spiritual being on a journey through life - and the first casualty in our very child-harming society.

Emphasize modeling, cooking (especially baking), making crafts (she should imitate you - learn the craft and throw out the instructions so she has to re-learn how to imitate you - early years imitation is a foundation for healthy intellectual inquiry later on when the child no longer has to seek a source outside of herself to imitate but has it all inside). Tell stories - try not to read to them. Use puppets a lot. Get wonderful simple dressing up - no need to spend a fortune - go to a thrift store!

And Tracy, please consider joining this forum - the support you'll get from other mothers - many of whom will have a "been there, done that" reaction to your situation - will be invaluable as you carve out a new path for your family. There is so much wealth in the archives, too - including a long valuable thread on whether to go cold turkey on the TV or not!

And it is never too late - if you, as an adult, can be touched by Waldorf's healing power, just think what it has to offer your children who really are so very young! Having said that, it won't necessarily be easy - but if you are completely clear about what you know in your heart, then you will manage!

[Unregistered]

Thank you so much Donna for your encouragement and suggestions... I'm surprised at how emotional it is for me to read your suggestions and think about how nourishing it will be. I think part of it is because I didn't have that as a child, so maybe this will help me too, and maybe that's why I've had such a hard time until now coming up with things like that on my own.

This is exactly what I wanted when I envisioned homeschooling but didn't know how to get there. It's so easy to get caught up in all of the the "stuff" that HAS to get done RIGHT NOW, that the things that are most important fall to the wayside.

I will def join the forum and will start implementing your suggestions. I think throwing out the instructions is a good thing... she's very much focused on how to do it 'right' as opposed to coming up with an idea on her own. That's what I mean about the imagination and perfectionist aspects being out of balance.

I'm just about to purchase some of your books... do you know generally how long it takes to get them once they're ordered?

Thank you again!

Tracy

[Donna]

Thank you for your words - when I read things like this from mothers, it makes it all worth it! I am very moved by your response.

Well, we're doing orders right this minute - so if you quickly order now (Monday am) then you'll get your books by Friday! I strongly suggest you consider the kindergarten book and Joyful Movement - and perhaps a couple of the audio downloads. The downloads are there as soon as you use paypal - the books are sent priority mail (if you are in the US) and take about 3 or 4 business days. We send out orders twice a week.

I look forward to welcoming you to the forum! :)

[TracyPA]

Thank you Donna!
I just ordered the Kindergarten, the Joyful Movement and the Form Drawing.
And also joined the forums.

Thanks again :)

[Donna]

Glad you're here! :)